Grocery List: October 20, 2013 (The One Where Post Something, Take It Down and Repost an Edited Version)

NOTE: Cold medicine makes me indecisive.

“No. 1 on the top 10 things I hate about motherhood: Other mothers.”

The Wife’s pronouncement came Friday night at the Dinosaur Barbque as we waited on delivery of our ribs. It’s not a new feeling for her. When The Kid was The Baby, The Wife would go to the parenting forums, seeking methods to developing sleep schedules and such, only to find herself aghast at the Alphadog Earth Mothers whose breasts have produced enough milk to feed the Asian subcontinent, had children who latched the first time, made their own food and used only organic diapers and never used wipes with alcohol in them AND WHY WOULD YOU DO TO THAT TO YOUR BABY YOU HORRIFIC UNFIT WOMAN WHO IS JUST A STEP ABOVE SUSAN SMITH BUT NOT BY MUCH SO TURN IN YOUR CAR KEYS ANYWAYS JUST IN CASE.

“I’ve been doing this wrong since she was born. Hell, I didn’t even give birth correctly.” (You may or may not know that The Kid was delivered via emergency surgery.)

The Wife’s barbecue-tinged insight was the result of my story of how Twitter exploded in my face the other day. The Wife thinks I should just let this go, and learn the lesson of Josh Lyman from The West Wing‘s 16th episode in season three. After 16 years, you would think that she a) recognized that my bitterness knows no bounds and b) I don’t learn lessons from others’ mistakes. Or my own.

Earlier this year, I chronicled our story of The Kid’s Celiac disease diagnosis and our introduction to the world of gluten-free food. In an effort to start some conversations with other gluten-free diet/Celiac disease bloggers out there and get some feedback, I reached out on Twitter and asked for the thoughts of about two dozen people in that realm. Most offered well wishes, some offered their sympathy to The Wife and me, as we had a very scared then-2 1/2 year old going through all of these tests with no comprehension as to why. Others offered suggestions of brands, support groups, and organizations that I should investigate. Some said nothing.

Gluten Schmuten: Nature’s Path Whole O’s Cereal

Gluten-free foods are expensive and their flavor profile, in many cases, is suspect. The Al Dente blog is going to work through the good and the bad from the perspective of a toddler who known for her picky eating and her parents. We’ll collect these, as well as the rest of our journey with The Kid’s Celiac disease diagnosis, under the Gluten Schmuten category tag.

Nature’s Path has been a winner in our house. Their crispy bars have been a staple, as have their line of Envirokidz foods. While out and about this weekend, we asked The Kid if she would like to try some O’s, a missing staple of the diet now that Cheerios are off limits.

THE SELL: Just the thing for the whole-grain-loving, gluten-avoiding O connoisseur—or any O connoisseur really. Full of organic corn and whole grain rice, it’s crunchy and delicious, one pleasingly plump vowel at a time. Try some with milk, its various alternatives, or straight out of the box.

THE PACKAGE: Each box is 8.5 oz.

THE INGREDIENTS: Brown rice flour*, corn flour*, evaporated cane juice*, pomegranate juice concentrate*, sea salt. (asterisks denote organic ingredients)

THE STATS ON A SERVING: One 2/3 cup serving has 120 calories, 1.5g fat, 25g carbs, 3g fiber, and 4g sugar. 

THE COST: $3.99 at Syracuse Wegmans stores.

THE REPLACEMENT: An 18 oz. box of Cheerios is $3.79.

THE KID TEST: She ate three and told The Wife, “I don’t like these.”

THE ADULT TASTE TEST: The Wife tried them. She said they taste like the box they were stored in.

THE VERDICT: Thumbs down all around. I’ll mix them in with something sugary and clean them up. A loser from the Nature’s Path people. We’ll give it one healthy villi since, well, I didn’t make a zero graphic.

Gluten Schmuten: Cake Break, Rehoboth Beach, Del.

Gluten-free foods are expensive and their flavor profile, in many cases, is suspect. The Al Dente blog is going to work through the good and the bad from the perspective of a toddler who known for her picky eating and her parents. We’ll collect these, as well as the rest of our journey with The Kid’s Celiac disease diagnosis, under the Gluten Schmuten category tag.

The Wife and I were worried about the gluten-free accommodations on our trip to Rehoboth Beach, Del. We planned ahead, bringing just about everything we would need for the week and found a natural grocery that carried the basics in case we needed something.

But, we were not particularly sure what to do when the other kids got into something she could not have. The three-year-old mind can only hear “that has gluten” so many times before it breaks down. We have been taking small risks, particularly at ice cream stands. While most soft-serve is gluten free, the tips on the soft-serve ice cream dispensers often touch the cones. This slight cross-contamination can trigger all sorts of symptoms in a person with Celiac disease. We have been risking it this summer, including once during a trip to Kohr Bros. on the boardwalk.

Rehoboth Beach, being a more enlightened area than your average seaside getaway, offered more than we expected in terms of friendly food for people with nut, lactose and gluten issues. For instance, there was Cake Break on First Street.

Julie, seeking a diversion for all of the kids on the trip, picked up a decorate your own cupcake kit for each of the anklebiters. A frosted vanilla or chocolate cupcake came with an assortment of sprinkles, jelly beans, marshmallows and other items. One of the Cake Break’s 23 cupcake varieties is gluten free. Julie grabbed one for The Kid.

Let’s rewind a second. The Cake Break is a cupcake bakery located just off the main road in Rehoboth Beach. Their flavors range from the traditional cupcake bakery choices like red velvet, carrot cake and pumpkins, to oddities like their Miss Piggy (apple-flavored cupcake with a maple bacon icing and bacon sprinkles), and Black & Tan (Guinness stout cupcake with Bailey’s Irish Cream frosting). They also make a version of the B&T with a Jameson’s Irish Whisky filling.

One of the things Cake Break does is cater to an all-inclusive audience in terms of food allergies. The facility is nut free, and in addition to their gluten-free cupcakes, they also offer vegan (lactose-free) options. I imagine that the bulk of their business is special order for birthdays, weddings and the like. But, Cake Break’s storefront is open from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. daily on a stretch of road with a good deal of foot traffic, making it a magnet for passersby.

The Kid mauled her cupcake, as kids do. The texture and flavor are what you expect from gluten-free baked goods: a little gritty on the tongue, but the same basic cupcake flavor. It’s probably one of the better gluten-free baked items I’ve had.

Gluten Schmuten: Hebrew National 97% Fat Free Franks

Gluten-free foods are expensive and their flavor profile, in many cases, is suspect. The Al Dente blog is going to work through the good and the bad from the perspective of a toddler who known for her picky eating and her parents. We’ll collect these, as well as the rest of our journey with The Kid’s Celiac disease diagnosis, under the Gluten Schmuten category tag.

Wait. You got her to eat a hot dog?

Nope.

The Kid’s picky eating is legendary. It took nearly three months of badgering before she would try a fresh strawberry, never mind that she will eat strawberry yogurt and ice cream, and drink strawberry-flavored drinks and smoothies. 

After a long day of driving, I suggested hot dogs to The Wife for dinner. We like Hoffman’s, a locally produced product which is not gluten free. Or, I cannot verify this on the package due to a filler called “modified food starch.” This could mean corn- or gluten-based starch. Either way, I need a direct answer from the company (who will likely say that they cannot guarantee that their product is gluten free due to cross contamination).

I thought I would give hot dogs a try and went right for Hebrew National. Now, kosher foods do not always mean gluten free, but I know that the production process is tightly controlled and the chances of cross contamination are less. Kosher food wins again.

THE SELL: Our 97% fat free franks are a favorite item with health-conscious consumers—worth only 1 point on the Weight Watchers® weight-loss program. They taste great and they’re 97% guilt free, too.

THE PACKAGE: Each 11 oz. package has seven franks.

THE INGREDIENTS: Beef, water, modified potato starch and less than 2% of spices and flavorings.

THE STATS ON A SERVING: One frank has 45 calories, 1g fat, 6g protein and 3g carbs.

THE COST: $4.29 at Syracuse Wegmans stores, but they seem to be on sale for the summer.

THE REPLACEMENT: Hoffman’s hot dogs are $3.29 per pound at Wegmans deli counters.

THE ADULT TASTE TEST: They taste like a stadium hot dog. Salty, tough and in need to mustard.

THE KID TEST: Oh, she didn’t get near it. After saying that she wanted one, she refused.

THE VERDICT: Not horrible, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to get them.

The Kid eats a strawberry

This ranks as big news around these parts. My three-year-old has long made picky eating her thing. First, it was formula. Then it was single-grain cereal. Then it was baby food. Then it was regular food. With the Celiac disease diagnosis in hand, her world shrank. We’ve been able to replace things like French toast sticks and crackers, but getting her to try new foods is…difficult.

Like parallel parking difficult.

Like threading a needle difficult.

Like there’s a better chance of me joining a gym than there is of her eating meat.

So, Saturday’s triumph was monumental.

This is the second surprise food experiment. The kid loves edamame. She eats them like they were coated in chocolate (we haven’t told her that Trader Joe’s sells chocolate-covered edamame yet). Even better, she refuses to eat them warm. I buy them fresh in the produce section or off the sushi bar at Wegmans and she eats them from the package. When we use the frozen, we have to defrost them then toss them in the fridge.

It’s the strangest thing (her reluctance to eat food, not her). She insists that she doesn’t like things, even though she has not tried much of what we offer. Yet, every so often we get a strawberry for the win, or a chance encounter with a soybean pod, or her diving at the bowl of pineapple-flavored (and gluten free) Dole Whip wanting more.

And that…that’s what we call a parental win.

Grocery list: June 16, 2013 (The Father’s Day edition)

All praise be to The Wife, who for Father’s Day allowed me to sleep from the point The Kid awoke at 6:10 until 8:10. I’ll take that as half of my gift for Father’s Day, as the other half would be the grill sitting in my garage.

Truth be told, I was not aware that Father’s Day was this weekend until sometime Wednesday or Thursday when The Wife asked me what I wanted to get my own father. She was surprised, but not very, when I asked what she was talking about.

Apparently, I was going to get pancakes for breakfast this morning, but we were out of Bisquick. My best guess is that we ran out in and around the time of The Kid’s Celiac disease diagnosis and never replenished. This didn’t occur to The Wife — until she tried making said breakfast — or me — until she mentioned it later in this morning.

Speaking of Bisquick, here’s the issue that arises with gluten free food: it’s expensive. Very expensive. In most cases, we’re talking about $1 per package for something that is replacing a conventional food item. In the case of Bisquick, it’s a little more. The 40 oz. box of regular Bisquick is 8.2 cents an ounce. The gluten free version, sold in 16 oz. boxes, tips in at 31.2 cents an ounce, or nearly quadruple the cost.

No big plans for Father’s Day, which is the best gift of them all. I think I’m going to squeak in an afternoon nap, maybe eek in some father-daughter dollhouse time or some laundry. It’s really not much different than any other Sunday around here.

Except that I got to sleep in. For Father’s Day. And all of that adds up to a beautiful thing.

Gluten Schmuten: Wegmans Gluten Free Honey Cornbread Mix

Gluten-free foods are expensive and their flavor profile, in many cases, is suspect. The Al Dente blog is going to work through the good and the bad from the perspective of a toddler who known for her picky eating and her parents. We’ll collect these, as well as the rest of our journey with The Kid’s Celiac disease diagnosis, under the Gluten Schmuten category tag.

We promised a gluten-free birthday spread to our guests on Saturday. And we delivered…basically. The pulled pork was gluten free, but the accompanying rolls were not. My father made his trademark tortellini salad and, of course, there was beer. Plenty of beer. But, the rest of the buffet was free of wheat and the pesky gluten it creates.

Not that it matters. The Kid feasted on Van’s french toast sticks while the other youngins dined on pork. What they all agreed on, however, was the cornbread. The geniuses at Wegmans Food Markets make their own private label honey cornbread.

THE SELL: Wheat-free, Sweet and Moist. Chosen with Care! Our Food You Feel Good About yellow banner is your shortcut to great-tasting products with no artificial colors, flavors or preservatives.

THE PACKAGE: Each package makes 16 two-inch squares.

THE INGREDIENTS: Yellow Cornmeal, Sugar, Rice Flour, Potato Starch, Honey Granules (Refinery Syrup and Honey), Cornstarch, Baking Powder (Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Baking Soda, Cornstarch, Monocalcium Phosphate), Salt, Xanthan Gum, Soy Flour.

THE STATS ON A SERVING: One serving has 200 calories, 32g carbohydrates and 12g sugar. 

THE COST: $3.49 at Syracuse Wegmans stores.

THE REPLACEMENT: The comprable Betty Crocker mix is…holy sh*t. 69 cents a box.

THE ADULT TASTE TEST: I never really had a good taste of it. I ate my cornbread the same way I always do: under a healthy glop of pulled pork.

THE KID TEST: She liked it, but I noticed that crumbled with greater ease than the non-GF variety. It was reminiscent of dry cornbread. I know this because my stepmother spent quite a few minutes by the kid’s table with a Dustbuster.

THE VERDICT: Thumbs up.

Grocery list: June 9, 2013

Everyone has left.

That’s the best part of a family gathering. This weekend was the celebration of The Kid’s third birthday (it’s officially on Tuesday) and we partied yesterday here at The Homestead. The crowd filtered out around 8 last night. The Sister returned to Long Island at 11 a.m., right around the same time that my father and stepmother bid adieu on the way back to their house on the St. Lawrence Seaway.

The house is now blisteringly quiet. The Kid is napping. The Wife is off for a run. All that can be heard is the clicking of the keyboard and the faint muttering of the announcer on the MLB Network.

The second best part of a family gathering? The stunning array of leftovers. We anticipated 18, but ordered food for 15-16. We had 15, but the six pounds of pulled pork and various salads that accompanied was apparently overkill. Today’s grocery trip reminded me that we need a bigger refrigerator in the next house. I gave up on putting things away with a sense of order and just started shoving things where there was room.

Everything but my father’s tortellini salad, the rolls for the pork and the beer was gluten-free. Not that it mattered, as The Kid ate a piece of corn bread and some Van’s french toast.

Today’s trip to Wegmans was solo and horrendous, though mutually exclusive of one another. Solo, because The Kid really wasn’t up for the trip, nor was The Wife. Horrendous because I have a raging chest cold and zero patience. I don’t know why, but the dairy department at Wegmans insists on restocking the shelves by putting the very large pushcarts full of yogurt so they block the shelf and aisle at the same time. After I got hit by someone else’s cart the third time, I decided that I no longer cared about others and was going to use my cart as a weapon. Naturally, my blood lust was for naught as the store seemed to empty, leaving me with clear aisles but a lingering case of cart rage.