So the bad news is, yeah, when Aunt Hortense asked you to bring the potatoes, she was basically calling you a nigh-useless human dumpster fire who can’t be trusted to crank open a can of cranberry jelly without sawing both your arms off and staggering over a cliff.
Jared’s Note: We’re posting some thoughts throughout the week on cooking Thanksgiving dinner, as we are prepping to host it here at Al Dente HQ. Stragglers and strays are welcome, pending a doctor’s physical. Some of these will be useful, some will be funny. Some will be both. Some will be neither.