Killing Them Softly: Tuna Loaf


EDITOR’S NOTE: My recent discovery of our families’ collection of 1970s era church cookbooks has been nothing short of a conversation piece around Al Dente HQ. The kind-hearted and well-intentioned women behind these recipes set cooking back years, all the while trying to kill their families with butter, shortening and lard. Not wanting to hog the glory and splendor for myself, it is my pleasure to share these classic culinary gems with you. These are the original recipes with very little editing. If you have one of these around your house or find one at your parent’s home, please contact me. I would love to get my hands on it.

RECIPE: Tuna Loaf
AUTHOR: Rose Costello
COOKBOOK: Our Lady of Pompeii’s Society of St. Therese Cookbook

WHY DID I CHOOSE THIS? I can’t believe I missed this one.

If there is one thing that I cannot tolerate, it’s canned tuna that has been warmed. I’m not talking about a tuna filet that has been seared. No. I mean, crack open a can of solid white or chunk light tuna, drain the liquid and then cook with it.

Dirty little secret. During our junior year of college, The Wife and I inhabited neighboring apartments and would cook dinner together each night. I did the bulk of the cooking, but she kicked in as to make a contribution. Her two go to dishes: her mother’s macaroni and cheese and tuna…noodle…I can’t even finish the sentence. Seriously, I can smell and taste it and I’m getting nauseous.

I humored her for a couple of turns through this at dinner, but I had to put the brakes on it. I’m sure that she did a fine job with it. I just…it’s not…it’s not right.

And neither is this disaster…

Tuna Loag

  • 2 cans tuna
  • 1 can cream of mushroom soup
  • 2 1/2 cups soft bread crumbs
  • 1/2 cup milk
  • 1/4 cup minced pimento
  • 3 tbsp. minced parsley
  • 1 tsp. salt
  • 1/2 tsp. pepper
  • 2 eggs, beaten

Soak bread crumbs in milk, add tuna and remaining ingredients. Grease loaf pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 40 minutes.

Note from Jared: I shit you not. This is the recipe.

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