With apologies to the person who originally wrote the “All I Need to Know in Life I Learned in Kindergarten.”
- Steamed clams taste like feet. If you’re going to cook clams, do it provencal style.
- There’s only one way to enjoy dinner: With Ron Curtis reading the news in the background.
- Every refrigerator should have a hunk of proscuitto hanging out in back. Next to the batteries.
- Keep your batteries in the fridge. They stay fresher that way.
- Roasted turkey is fine, but you know you would rather eat it deep fried.
- Squid is the perfect topping/stuffing for everything. Pasta. Calzones. Everything.
- There’s no such thing as too much garlic.
- Bottle wine > box wine > jug wine. But nothing beats homemade wine.
- 30-year-old homemade grappa is what makes you a man.
- Sambuca is to be enjoyed neat with coffee beans on the bottom of the glass.
- Never let your partner toss the palina, even if you’re hammered (okay, so it’s a bocce rule, but it’s still relevant)
- Rare beef is overcooked.
- Filipio Berio olive oil is where it’s at (It’s not, but who am I to question the old man?)
- One-inch wide is considered “thin sliced.”
- Roasted red peppers from a jar are nice, but roasting your own and freezing them is where it’s hat.
- Jack Daniels is a sipping whiskey. When, where and how you sip it is less important.
- A home is not a home unless there is a braid of garlic in the hallway (that actually comes from my grandfather).